I was really struggling with what
to write for this blog entry until I went shopping at the Prime Outlets with my
mom this weekend. We had a nice dinner and then decided to go to the Nike store
to look for some running shorts; the place was packed with people looking to take
advantage of the sales and the staff was equally as busy trying to keep all of
the merchandise neat and the customers happy. A young guy, probably in his mid-twenties,
asked us if we needed help and we happily politely replied that we were fine
and thanked him for asking. We started
to walk away but he stopped us and thanked us for being so polite and actually
answering him when he spoke to us then proceeding to tell us if we needed anything
at all, he would be more than happy to help us.
We thanked Alex again for being so nice and promised him that if we
needed anything, we would be sure to find him. The next day my mom and I went
for a run on a trail in my town which is frequented by triathletes who train at
the National Training Center five minutes from my house. My mom competes in triathlons
and is friends with many of the people we see running or biking on the trail
who wave and greet us as we pass. Even if we don’t know the athlete passing by,
we still wave, smile, and say hello because that is the polite thing to do. Apparently the three younger men running the
trail weren’t aware of the unspoken rule of greeting someone when you pass
because they completely ignored our greeting and smiles. I’m not exactly sure
why but this frustrated me. I know they heard us, they didn’t have iPods in and
I know they weren’t blind OBVIOUSLY. So why didn’t they return our greeting?
Why were customers so rude to Alex in the Nike outlet? Have we as a society
lost the ability to use common courtesy? I was raised in what some people may call a
strict household, I wasn’t allowed to leave the table unless I asked to be
excused, and if “please” wasn’t used when asking for something then I didn’t
get it. If I did not say “thank you”, well that was just extremely rude! I was
also taught that if someone spoke to me, I was to answer them, especially my
parents. If I ignored one of them when they spoke to me, I would definitely be
in trouble.
So here’s what I think, younger
generations are not as courteous and polite as older generations because simple
principles are not taught at home anymore. Think about the older people you run
into in the store and how nice they can be and then think about the twenty year
old who bagged your groceries and hardly made eye contact with you when you
asked him a question. Do you think people are missing their manners? Or am I
just imagining things? Tell me why!
I would agree with you. In today's society many people lack common courtesy. I also find that it is family and location related. I truthfully find people in the city are actually more likely to help you if they see you struggling or hold a door for you. Everyone minds their own buisness but are more likely to show you respect as well.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you. The manners that we were brought up with no longer seem to be important - they seem to be optional. Similar to your household, I was brought up to be polite, especially to my elders. Every time we visited someone, I needed to kiss each family member in greeting, smiling along the way as I engaged in unwanted conversation. The thing is, even though I did not want to start a conversation, I still did because it was the polite thing to do. Nowadays, people barely give a response to a normal vocal greeting.
ReplyDeleteCommon courtesy has completely become a thing of the past... It's extremely sad but I, too, notice it every day. Waving to other runners on the trail is something I wouldn't think twice about doing. Thanking someone who offered their services is something that if I didn't do, I'd feel awful. These are simple things that the youth of our country do not know. They cannot be to blame though. Kids are being raised by parents who are not teaching them proper manners. I learned how to be polite from my mom and dad. If I didn't show proper manners while out in public, not only would I be scolded by my mother, but she would then stress again and again the importance of doing such. Manners were ingrained into me from day one, and I continue to try and use common courtesy with everything I do. It is sad when these actions are not returned, but there is not much you can do when people were never taught the proper way to act.
ReplyDeleteI think as a generation we have lost the sense of respect for our elders. When we see an old person we just think ‘aww cute’ or ‘geeze their old’ instead of ‘maybe I should help them with their bag’. It’s something that we as a generation haven’t experienced. Back then it was a part of the everyday American family lifestyle to use your manors. People valued the idea of a family more then than they do now and it shows. Kids without the right parenting are less likely to develop manors and respect for the ones who raised them; if they even had two parents raising them. It’s not the kids fault. They don’t know any better. More children are born each year to a single parent with no money and no plans for the future. It’s a nonstop chain of bad parenting and impolite children. After a while we don’t notice it and don’t think twice about the old lady struggling with her groceries. People are missing their manors but its whether or not they knew to use them in the first place that’s creating an issue in our society.
ReplyDeletePeople have the common courtesy like we should. Parents aren't teaching their children the fundamentals of manners. These children are also the same children who spend numerous hours on the computer or in front of the TV so they do not have as much contact with others in order to learn these manners and their parents aren't strict about enforcing them either. There are several people that still have people and it is not just the older generation, but the number of younger people are diminishing.
ReplyDeleteI honestly think it depends on the person. Not all "twenty-year olds" aren't rude, however, there are quite a lot of people who do not have common curtsy. ESPECIALLY at Walmart on Tennessee Street! I always have a smile on my face when I come up to the cashier and make sure to say have a nice day. Half of the time the cashier doesn't even respond. I mean shit, if you're having a bad day you should still say something back to your customer. I have bad days all the time but that doesn't stop me from replying to someone when they say "have a nice day." I just don't understand some people, and don't understand why everyone isn't nice. And you are correct about the older generation, I love having an old lady cashier. They are always so sweet and start a conversation and call me sweetie. Who doesn't like being called sweetie by an old lady!?
ReplyDeleteI completely agree that people really lack manners nowadays. I was raise in a strict household too and most people would say that strict households mean that you’re “sheltered” but really it’s made me a better person because now I know how to act appropriately in social situations. When I’m in the grocery store and I accidentally cut off someone who was coming out of the isle, I always smile and say I’m sorry. But whenever people do that to me, they just keep going on their way, like it’s their right to be in front of you. The one time I was at McDonald’s and a guy was ordering food while on his cell phone and he kept having the cashier wait for him to decide what to eat, then talk on the phone and then order. I could tell that the lady was mad, but she can’t say anything because she has to respect the customer, no matter how unpleasant they are. Once I got up to order I made sure that I was extra pleasant because I could tell that this person had already had it rough. She was so appreciative that she gave me a free French-fry because she was pleased by my manners. Then once when I was at church a teenage guy was coming out of the doors and he just walked right through and didn’t even look behind him to see who was there. If he did, he might have noticed that an elderly woman was behind him and the door swung shut right in her face. Luckily I saw her behind him and I quickly grabbed the door and held it for her as she walked through. She thanked me and continued on her way, but I could tell that she was really appreciative. I had always grown up conscientious of the people around me and I was taught to always mind my manners. Even now when I go over to see a friend or family member, my mom still goes through the drill “say yes sir, no sir, yes ma’m, no ma’m.” Some people might think this controlling, but it had made me a pleasant person to be around, which is a very important skill, especially when it comes to job interviews, because I would never hire a rude person over a polite person. Whether it’s dead or not, politeness will win out in the long run.
ReplyDeleteI think that the usage of manners has definitely decreased over time. I recognize a lot more people these days that are inconsiderate and completely careless about other people. I think that it has alot to do with how kids are being raised. Many parents don't seem to think that manners are an important thing to teach their kids anymore. They don't take the time to instill in their kids a sense of respect for other people, and that can be a bad thing for the kids when they get older. Most kids with parents like this will grow up and never say "yes mam" or "yes sir", or open a door for somebody, or even say hey to somebody they run into. I think that parents need to start taking some initiative and at least teach their kids basic manners so that they will be a little bit more respectful when they are older.
ReplyDeletei believe that as a majority manners are disappearing but i also believe that certain people still value these things. coming from a southern family these values are very important to me. but i do believe it is a growing problem and only the parents are to blame.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, you're just imaging things. I see a trait among people that being to get older, they start looking down on the younger generation. Older generation start saying things like "kids these days..." or "those hooligans.." People are no more or less polite then they have always been. Instead, lots of people's perspectives just change. They get so focused on the rude people that they tend to forget that there are many well taught and behaved young people in the world. Try not to let three boys that ran by you one morning shape your entire perspective on the way that people raise their children these days. Because you'd better believe that when I eventually have children of my own, they will know their manners.
ReplyDeleteI think it depends. I know that children these days are more rude than they used to be but there are also people who are still very polite. Yes i think that the way children are being raised now is not the same as when I was raised. I see children speaking back to their parents and treating them the way they should not treat adults. I also believe that if parents instill a set of values on their children they will be much more polite. I think that parents are starting to give up and their children mimic their friends and the parents are just too tired to say anything. I have seen that in many households. I see the child giving attitude to the parents, but they are too tired to do anything about it. They are tired of trying. I know that when I have children i will definitely put my foot down and teach them their manners.
ReplyDeleteI do agree that people lack manners now a days, but I also think it depends on the person.
ReplyDeleteI was raised to always use my manners, to be courteous and to always lend a helping hand. However, I am not polite or courteous because I have to or because my parents will scold me, its more of that I want to, I choose to. I feel good when I hold the door for someone, when I say please and thank you and when I help someone in need. I know that I am doing the right thing and its more of a plus, if they appreciate it. When I first moved here, I found everyone extremely friendly and courteous. As I was walking from one class to the next, I got numerous “hellos” and “hey’s,” something I am not really familiar with at home, but I did appreciate it.
Some people are inconsiderate and careless amongst other people and it does frustrate me a bit. If I am holding the door for someone and they don’t even acknowledge me, I will sometimes tell them “your welcome” to show them that what they did was rude. They don’t even have to say thank you, but a simple smile or nod never killed anyone. Clearly, the way our and past generations are being raised are very different from the younger generations. I do see a lot more people now missing their manners than before, but I wouldn’t entirely blame it on the parents because it honestly depends on the person. Of course, the parents have a huge impact on the kids, but we cant completely blame them for every little mistake they do.
I think manners and courtesy all depend on how the person was raised. My family is hispanic, and they place a lot of emphasis on things like "saying hello when you come in a room" or answering elders with "yes/no ma'am/sir". As a result, I'm usually pretty respectful to others, even if I don't know them. I always hold doors for people, I always greet cashiers or employees at stores, and I always address teachers and elders politely. On the other hand, I come across people on a daily basis who barely even smile back or say "excuse me" when trying to get past me in an aisle during lectures.
ReplyDeleteThis is common with asking if chivalry is dead. I know that I was raised to make eye contact and treat people with respect. I'm not saying that everyone else hasn't been raised this way but I do agree with you. It seems like a lot of people today just think about themselves first and have no care in the world about how people perceive them. I honestly could care less how people think of me but I do care if people think of me as disrespectful because I know that I was raised better than that.
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ReplyDeletePoliteness has definitly gone down the drain as well as morals. People now a days are so used to being rude to one another that its not even out of the oridinary to hear someone be disrespectful or rude. However there are still some people who have good manners and respect others, although its not as common, there still are people who do have manners.
ReplyDeleteI think chivalry is dead for sure. I believe that manners have gone missing because it is even hard to get people to hold the door for you or not walk straight into you these days. We live in a very selfish generation where people thinks its "Oh, not me" or "I don't have to do nice things." The way people treat each other is disgusting these days, like cursing or yelling at a female or guys punching each other in the face.
ReplyDeleteI think politeness in society may have decreased a little, but the majority of people still show their manners. Maybe fewer families teach their children how to be polite. I grew up in a household where politeness was expected of me, or I would be in trouble, and apologize and I learned to keep my manners with me. I always answer the people at stores who ask if I need help and thank people who hold the door for me. It is really sad something like manners is disappearing and being replaced with a less sensitive people who avoid eye contact and greeting each other even though it takes minimal effort.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you people have an entire new level of rudeness now. Simple things that I ask to employees in a store, leave me in a bad mood because of the employees disgusting attitude. Older generations have so much kindness in their hearts and a respect for everyone. Our generation has absolutely no respect for anyone
ReplyDeletePoliteness is definitely more prevalent in older generations. I was raised to say "yes mam'," "yes sir," etc all my life. It just isn't taught to many kids today. Some are better than others, but i think it is a lack of parenting to be honest and it is truly sad. I try to hold doors for people as often as possible and when someone does it for me and i say "thank you" well i expect a "you're welcome" or at least a head nod. But you hardly ever even get a head nod anymore. It's sad to see how rude and inconsiderate people are. I've found that in "country towns" everyone is much more modest and has manors unlike big cities.
ReplyDeleteIn todays current society I feel so many people have no manners or morals. It seems as if everything their parents taught went in one ear and out the other, unless their parents did not teach them at all. For instance, in an elevator it is courteous to wait for people to exit before entering, I have encountered this experience several times in my dorm.
ReplyDeleteFrom what I've experienced, people with and without manners is widespread among our population. From the people that serve my food where I live, half of them are very nice, and serve the food with grace, and half of them are simply rude, and wont even look me in the eye when I thank them. Their ages range from 30-60, so I think finding an educated person is like the lottery. One day you might run into the kindest person, and the other you might happen to run into the rudest person. From my point of view, it's not only the younger generations that are less educated now, it can be older people too.
ReplyDeleteI am a firm believer that our generation was raised completely different than those of an older generation. In some respects I also believe that our generation is all about instant gratification and is easily irritated when things don't happen as planned. However, when it all boils down, it depends on the certain person. Everyone was raised differently and everyone had their own beliefs. Some might have never been taught how to use their manners. It's unfortunate, but true. That's when you take the opportunity to realize how fortunate you are to be raised in a correct manor.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that people are less polite nowadays. I see many children doing thins and acting in ways that I didnt even think of doing when I was younger. I was taught to show rrespect to elders, but now it feels like it's not something parents really teach their kids anymore
ReplyDeleteI agree that there is less of an emphasis on being polite. It's not necessarily the fault of the younger generations if no one put an emphasis on it. I think it is because of the way our society operates. Everything has become faster and more efficient and technology has taken a toll on the amount of human contact we would have normally experienced to develop our manners. With the speed everything operates now, people feel there is no time to be polite.
ReplyDeleteI see this happen all the time around campus. Do we need to be polite? No. The majority of us, college students, just follow the actions of others. So if others aren't being polite, I believe that we probably won't go out of our way to be either. Yes it is great to be polite but our society is headed in the opposite direction. We were not raised to be polite as our parents and grandparents were.
ReplyDeleteI believe that a persons manners are based almost entirely on the way they were raised. That being said I think that the younger generations aren't being raised the same way their parents were. From what I've seen the days of playing outside with the neighborhood kids has been replaced in large part by video games and social media. As a result children don't interact with other people as much and develop a different set of manner than you might see in the older generations. Overall, I would agree that the younger generation has become socially distant from society and lack the mannerisms of our parents and grandparents.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel. My parents were not the best of parents and did not teach me much, but dammit they taught how to be polite and practice common courtesy. Oftentimes, I hold the door open for people and they say nothing in response. Either they are a little too used to having doors opened for them, or they are just impolite and inconsiderate. Of course, I should never expect or demand a response from people because something so trivial, but if someone is nice to you in this God forsaken world it is a big deal and everyone should take note of it.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you completely. Our generation as a whole is pathetic when it comes to manners. I am sad to be apart of this, because I believe good manners can go a long way. Whats so hard about holding a door open for someone? All it takes is a little bit from everyone and maybe our generation won't have to be the generation of cranky old people on their cell phones still.
ReplyDeleteI agree, today's society is not as polite as previous ones. We are more secluded and not very talkative to other people. Some say that this is because of our new found dependence on technology for a social life that we no longer try to talk to people right in front of is in flesh and bone. Also, we must think about the up bringing of many children today. A lot of children are being brought up in different households such as, single parent homes, divorced parent homes, and many are children to extremely young parents. I believe there are many factors as to why politeness is not very prominent in society today.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first came to America from South Korea, all I thought was, "Wow, these people are rude little shits." Being raised in a strict Asian-cultured home, I was able to experience first-hand the definition of the word 'strict.' Somewhere along the development of American popular culture, it has become somewhat okay to treat people with less courtesy. No you're not seeing things; we're in America, land of the free, home of the brave, and country of assholes.
ReplyDeleteI have definitely noticed how people very rarely have manners now a days. I also grew up in a strict household where manners were to be used at all times and when they werent i was punished. It is a habit for me to be polite to people. I hold doors for people even if they arent right behind me and i say please and thank you to everyone i come in contact with. I even say goodmorning to all of the FSU workers when i pass by them in the morning. Some people have asked me why i say hi to people i dont know and for some reason they think i am crazy, but that was just how i was raised. I personally think that the reason kids arent polite anymore is because of their parents. We now live in a society where parents are our 'friends' instead of our parents. I think that you cant really be friends with your parents until you are out of the house and living on your own. Even now that i am in college my parents can still control me if they wanted to, but thats because they are my parents. I am not their equal. I am not saying that parents shouldnt be friends with their children, i just dont think you should be able to talk to your parents like you do your friends. Parents should teach their kids manners and enforce them at all times. If a child doesnt listen then punish them. That is how parenting works. For the first 18 years of our lives our parents are supposed to be teaching us and preparing us for life. Manners should be a part of everyones lives.
ReplyDeletePoliteness is no doubt fading away, from chivalry to just common courtesy. I believe there are many reasons for this: new technologies have caused people to socialize less when in a room of new people. People are always busy and don’t think they have the time to worry themselves with being polite to others. With the decline in the belief of God as a whole race and the increase in gender equality, some don’t see a need for manners. This is a sad truth, however I feel lucky to go to a university where every time I, even as a man, walk through a door someone is usually there holding it.
ReplyDeleteI am constantly amazed at the huge lack of politeness among our generation, as if it is an inconvenience to simply be nice or understanding to someone. These days its all about the individual and their needs. No one stops to open a door, apologize, ask permission. People are selfish and it has turned into a theme in our society.
ReplyDeleteNow a days, politeness is basically non existent. I was raised in a family where if i was not polite and kind, i was in trouble. I was taught to always look someone in the eye when talking to them and to make a good first impression. these things are very important to me and i always try my best to be polite to everyone, even if i don't know them.
ReplyDeleteI think, in a way, that many people just don't see how being polite to people they don't know can really effect their emotions. I am always polite even to those who might seem as "shady" people in my rule book but I know never to judge a book by its cover. The simple act of smiling and saying hello is enough to make me feel better about how I interact with others and possibly how they might interact with me later on, if chances we were to meet again.
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