Prior to college, everyone always says that once you come back home to visit, you realize that things just aren't the same anymore. People change. Sometimes for the better. Sometimes for the worse. I usually ignored these type of remarks. "My friends are the shit, they're always gonna be the same," I would say to myself. Unfortunately, a lot of them did change and proved people's predictions to be true.
Some of the people that I went to high school with have been doomed since they were little kids. They were always getting in trouble and getting themselves in bad situations. As they grew older, their problems grew in severity. It's not surprising that those types of people changed. What is shocking is when the ones that seemed to have everything going for them, suddenly became degenerates and simply decayed into scumbags overnight. Kids that excelled in school, came from stable homes, had jobs, partied moderately, and had promising futures did a complete 180 with their lives. They became every parent's and friend's worst nightmare.
My hometown of Weston, Florida, is a stereotypical suburban neighborhood. Homes are expensive and luxurious. Public schools here are all graded "A+". The roads are all perfectly paved and the landscape is well maintained.There are a variety of 'healthy and safe' ways to have fun here. Hundreds of cops roam the streets like sharks 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. A bunch of celebrities, including Dan Marino and The Rock, call this town their home. The city is rated as one of the best places to raise a family in the United States. From an outsider's point of view, it is the ideal place to live.
Unfortunately, appearances are deceiving. This town is not what it seems, and it is not as pleasant as one might think from just visiting. People here are extremely superficial. They all compete with one another to see who can buy the best house or car. Moms get breast implants to match their teens'. Our local high school, Cypress Bay, had it's own show on MTV.
Sadly enough, this materialistic mindset, gives way to a lot of undesirable problems. A large portion of the teen population experiments with heavy drugs (I'm not talking about just weed, that's baby stuff. I mean coke, X, and even heroin. Really dangerous shit). Most parents ignore their kids' problems and even promote their habits by giving them money.
I don't want to make this too personal, because I realize a lot of you might not be able to relate to it. I'm not going to bore you with stories about people that you don't know or even care about. To be very, very brief, I'm just going to say that this spring break really opened my eyes and changed my perspective on a lot of my friends. Some people I thought I was going to be friends with for the rest of my life, only care about possessions now. They have goals in life very different from my own. At the same time, this helped me realize who my real friends back home are. I am fortunate to have these people still in my life.
My questions to you are: do you find people you went to high school with have changed ever since you started college? Have these changes been good or bad? How do you feel about your friends changing? How do you deal with these changes? Any additional comments on this subject?
This video is a parody of 'New York State of Mind', but instead it's called 'Weston State of Mind'. Yeah I know it's pretty damn cheesy, and I realize the guy is a total tool, but it describes my hometown accurately and sums up the lifestyle here pretty well.
Its funny how all of this is so true. Before college I lived in a nice part of Orlando (Windermere) and went to an A school, and had good friends. When I went off to college I figured that you should make friends but keep the old ones and for the most part I have, but I grew distant from some of my old friends that went to Florida State just like me. This wasn’t because I was just tired of them but it was because they went off and made new friends as well. Being in a fraternity has been the major issue I’ve seen. I have nothing against fraternity’s or sorority’s (I actually am looking forward to rushing in the fall) but some of fraternity’s that ive seen on campus have some issues with drugs. Ive seen kids do cocaine like its no big deal. Its scary watching somebody you’ve known for about 6 years change so quickly.
ReplyDeleteIt’s really sad to admit that this stuff is true. Luckily my home is in Tallahassee, so I got to see the people that I used to go to school with a lot. I was very fortunate to know that my core group of friends didn’t really change that much since I had seen them. But there are a few acquaintances that I have noticed a drastic change in. The one girl I went to school with for now fifteen years (since pre-school) and she was considered to be one of the most popular girls in my class, won the superlative of most likely to be woman president, and she thought that she was on top of the world. Then she joined a sorority and that all changed. Now, I’m not saying all sororities are bad, but this one had a very bad influence on her. Now all she does is party and drink and god knows what else! She’s failing out of all of her classes, she goes out and parties every night, and she spends all of her money on new clothes to party in and drinks. Then another girl who was my best friend in middle school is now getting married to a boy that she met less than six months ago. I think a lot of people would be very surprised to find out what these people are like now. And the sad part is that I don’t think there is really any way to deal with it directly. I mean, you’ll always be sad to look back and remember the person that they were and are despaired at the person they have become. The only thing that I can think of doing to make you feel better is to hang out and keep in contact with the friends that are the same and are just as great to be around as they were last year.
ReplyDeleteOh, this is completely true. I currently live in Miramar and on the "good" side of town. My high school was actually in Pembroke Pines, but it was still a decent area. The thing is, I am always dubbed the mother in my group of friends, which is why they made such a big deal when I came up here for college. As soon as I left, I knew bad things were going to fall upon my friends. With pregnancy scares, drugs, arrests, and having a gate on certain parts of the school, I cannot help but feel just a bit disgusted with the people I know. I am still surprised that they all managed to make it this far. And to think some of them are going to college next year.
ReplyDeleteI can completely relate because I am from Boca, which is known as a busy city with rich old people, beaches, and a lot of bad drivers! The people I went to high school with have for sure changed a lot. They have become so caught up in the "college life" that they barely care about school.. They love to party and stuff while I really want to focus on my school work and graduate. I can't stop them from what they are doing but i can control how much i hang out with them and home much i let them influence me.
ReplyDeleteI think everyone changes a little it is part of growing up. The circumstances we face are all different and cause us to move in different directions than our friends. In my area high school was filled with extreme drugs and stuck up rich kids. I feel that my friends have changed for the better. I try to hang out with them when i can and can not wait to see how they have changed next time i see them.
ReplyDeleteMy friends and peers from high school are constantly changing. Even those friends who are younger and still in their junior and senior years of high school have changed. People get involved with drinking and doing drugs and reckless behavior. Unfortunately, this wasn’t uncommon during my years of high school, though. Most of my friends who are getting into trouble now… well, they were getting into trouble last year, too. The biggest changes I see in my peers from high school since they’ve been at college are the social changes. The kids who didn’t care about what others thought of them, had their own individual personalities, and carried themselves in classy, honorable ways, have completely changed. Dealing with change is something that everyone does differently. With my close friends, I talk to them about the changes, but for other peers that I see changing, I just choose to ignore it and separate myself from the bad decisions.
ReplyDeleteI am fortunate to say that my friends have not changed that much, with the exception of one maybe two. My friends from high school are people that I have been friends with since i was child, we all grew up together and we all changed in front of each other's eyes so i guess we all changed together. I can't say that everyone has stayed the same as they were when they were younger but what has not changed is our friendship. I am from Miami, Florida and i live in a nice neighborhood and i went to private school from when i was 3 to when i graduated high school. I have seen what money and status have done to people and how they have changed because of it but i am fortunate enough to say that the people that i am very close with have not been affected by all of this.
ReplyDeleteThe few people that I do keep in contact with from high school have changed. Not drastically, but a noticeable change that is not the best possible path to be going down. I have heard many stories about friends who are going down a terrible path. My group of friends were in IB and you would think that IB students would continue focusing on their studies and having the motivation to finish their studies and that college is so easy compared to the IB program, but not true according to some people who are now failing from using drugs. I never thought they would use drugs. I knew some people who did use in IB in high school though. But changes of others are not the most important to concern ourselves with. We should focus on our own paths and try to influence those troubled friends to get back on track. One of my friends failed his first semester in college due to drugs. Thanks to his best friend, she influenced him to quit doing drugs and now he is receiving straight A's and working on his schoolwork more than he ever did in high school. The point is, we have to stay focused on our goals in life and look at the long term affects of the things that we do. When we see our old friends and find that they have gone through bad changes, then influence them for the better. Life is constantly changing and they may just be going through a phase.
ReplyDeleteThe people that I went to high school with and at Florida State I don't keep in much contact with. The kids from my high school felt to fondly of themselves and thought their "shit" did not sink. However my friends from high school that I do keep in contact did change. But everyone changes especially at this point in life. Everyone is trying to find themselves and trying to live in the "real" world. I don't think the change is bad because its a part of growing up.
ReplyDeleteI have seen a lot of kids from my high school change over the years. Many of them used to be perfect, smart kids that never got in trouble, and now they are living at home instead of going off to college, because they goofed off in high school and made bad grades. In most cases their bad grades were caused by them partying all the time and getting involved in things such as drugs and alcohol. I think that everybody changes a little bit once they get out into the real world and start living on their own. Its just that some people transition differently than others do.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you, I have several friends that came back from college and were using hard core drugs that they picked up from their schools. These changes are bad, in no way is it healthy and acceptable to be using drugs of that kind. Honestly it sucks that some of my friends have changed so much, i feel like hey are loosing their personalities. They way i have handled their changes by not hanging out with them, and not being involved in their life because personally i don't want to deal with it.
ReplyDeleteI keep up with very few friends from high school because of this reason exactly. Only a couple of my closest friends are worth coaching and helping get to college or where they want to go in life. All the other friends I had I could really care less about. Because they are all still immature and are growing at their own pace and I do not have the interest to deal with their petty drama.
ReplyDeletei believe college does change you. i would never say for the worst though. people are always going to change its called growing up. and who is to say that you haven't changed yourself? I'm sure everyone has to deal with change and i bet college won't be the last time you do.
ReplyDeleteI think this is really true. I have found that almost all of my high school friends have changed from college, some more than others. Everyone changes in college though, and I think most changes are for the good like people growing more mature and independent. It is a little strange going to break and meeting up with all my old friends and it being not the same as before. Some of my old friends are so different I don't really enjoy hanging out with them. Unfortunately, some of my high school friends used their college freedom to let their social lives take over and several have almost failed their classes and lost scholarships because they can't balance their work from play. But, most of my closer friends are still mostly the same and we still get along well.
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ReplyDeleteI think that my closer friends have stayed the same in college, only because I know them better. People that I might not have been too close to in high school have definitely changed. I went to a catholic high school so everyone was restricted to what they wore and what they said, so in college I feel like everyone is just going crazy haha.
ReplyDeleteThere have only been a few things that have changed in the people I knew in high school. For example all of the people who were rude and obnoxiously annoying have become more humane and civilized because they finally realized how hard life is trying to get by all on your own. They relied on their parents for hep and advice but now they know that they can't ween off of them anymore. For their own sake they have become better people and I can finally talk to them without worrying if they were going to verbally attack me.
ReplyDeleteI have undoubtedly seen changes in my friends over Spring Break. Most of the changes aren't that significant so I can't really say whether they are good or bad. For the most part the people that I went to High School with were still living with there parents and had a stable environment. After being thrown into college life people mature and are free to fall into the life style that fits them best. As a result I have seen a few changes in the interests and pastimes of my friends, but they are still the same person.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, thats happened to me during spring break too, only I went back with to a friends house instead of mine. Seriously, we went back with the idea in mind that we might be smoking a bit or going to some parties and before I knew it people were hit lines left and right. Things got out of hand fast but all I remember was my friend talking about how it never used to be like that. Instead, they used to smoke and just play some video games. Everything was very relaxed and everyone was still determined to be somebody or make a difference in the world. With all the money, sometimes it's hard to just let go. For some people, it's just so easy to fall into that rut since the money is always there. I mean, over spring break everyone I hung out definitely had it and they did nothing but get fucked up...every day, all day of pretty much everything described above and then some.
ReplyDeleteI think everyone changes in college, some more than others and some in good ways and other in bad ways. Some of the people I went to high school with have changes a lot but they are people that I didn't keep in touch with. I actually didn't keep in touch with a lot of my high school friends but seeing how they have changed is really impressive, at least according to facebook.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if it is my friends that have changed or is it me. I think that now I see people for who they are now, and the things that I don't like about them are now are the things I ignored in high school. Now there is an entire new group of people I fit in with that I barely talked to in high school.
ReplyDeleteLuckily, none of my closest friends have changed too much. If anything, traits that were evident before are more noticeable, but that is the extent of it. I guess it is because all of us were friends because we share the same interests and disliked the same things. Any changes at all were not that bad since the wildest of all of us is kept in line at the Citadel.
ReplyDeletePeople will change no matter what. People come, go, improve and degenerate every day of our lives. Some stay longer than others and some change more drastically than others, but these things are inevitable. When talking to some friends from high school, the outcome is different with every person. Some changef for the better and some completely went off the deep end unexpectedly. It is unpredictable.
ReplyDeleteI have had a couple friends that have really changed. I went to a private Christian school in South Carolina that was very strict and sheltered. As soon as some of my friends got out of high school along with them came years of suppressed desire and temptation, which in turn caused them to act out more in college.
ReplyDeleteI don't think any of my close friends changed much. After highschool thay all pretty much stayed together, I'm the only one that is kind of doing my own thing. I don't talk to them very often, but I did not notice that they changed. Maybe they think that I have changed since graduation from highschool.
ReplyDeleteI do not believe people change either for good or bad. I believe you are the way you are. When you think someone has "changed" is not that they have actually changed, what it is is that you learned something new about them. I'm not as close as I was with my high school friends because we have all gone to different colleges, but I have kept contact with the ones that care to stay with contact with the ones that went away.
ReplyDeleteI personally have felt closer to my high school friends than ever before. We all basically grew up together, and being away from them for so long is just another phase in our relationship. I keep in contact with my high school friends as much as time will allow, so when I see them over the break it's like we never really were apart from each other. Growing up in a small arts school, the friendships you create, in my opinion, are much more intense. These are just a group of people I will never grow apart from.
ReplyDeleteThere are definitely some people I went to high school with that have changed, mostly for the worst. Fortunately, all my close friends in high school all came to Florida State and I hang out with them almost everyday. There are the few friends that stayed back home that I always try to keep in contact with. Once you leave high school, you really do find out who your true friends are like the ones who will really make the effort to hang out with you or just to say hi. I think its normal for people to change and although I know I haven't, my life style has. Were all in college now, so its obvious things are going to be different.
ReplyDeletePeople I had known have definitely changed since I have come to college. They have gotten either wiser, maturer, or stupider. I don't really care if they change or not since it's their lives they're living, not mine. As long as they're not killing themselves with drugs or getting arrested, it doesn't concern me too much. Since the friends that I actually really care about have been my friends for a very long time, I trust and believe that they're making wise decisions to better their lives.
ReplyDeleteI have noticed through Facebook that a lot of the people I went to high school with that stayed home and went to community college have not changed for the most part. Most of them still hangout with the same people and do the same things everyday because this isn't that much to do in my town but what I have noticed is that these people love to blowup Facebook with pointless status updates.
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